Permanently black and blue
by smaragdbird
Summary: Warning for non-con. Cullen has once again fallen in love with another mage while in the Gallows. One day Cullen is jumped by his fellow templars and dragged to some cell in the bowels of the Gallows. He finds Alain being held by another group of templars and is then tied up and forced to watch as the templars take turns raping Alain for hours. (Cullen/Alain, AU)


They got him in his quarters. He had already undressed for the night when there had been a knock on his door and Cullen had opened it, not expecting to be attacked by his fellow templars. He remembered his head hitting the side of his door and how they had bound him while he had been too disoriented to fight back. He remembered the sack over his head and how they had dragged him from his room and down into the bowls of the Gallows.

"So nice of you to join us", Karras said and pulled the sack from his head. Cullen looked around. He and nearly a dozen other templars stood in a room that looked like it had served as a community room once.

"Unhand me at once, Karras", Cullen snarled. "The Commander – "

"Commander Meredith doesn't appreciate your letters to the Seekers at all. She thinks you're becoming too soft", Karras smiled unpleasantly, reminding Cullen of Uldred, and it sent a shiver down his spine.

"According to the rules set by the chantry the rite of tranquillity can only be performed – " Karras backhanded him across the face.

"Cite your rules as you want but you and I know why you're being so soft on the mages." Karras gave two of the other templars a sign and they opened a door to bring someone in.

It was Alain.

His hands were bound behind his back and he looked frightened out of his mind. But that wasn't the worst. He was naked as well. Dread pooled in Cullen's stomach like molten ice on the bottom of a cave. Karras grabbed Alain's hair and forced him to lie across a table face-down.

"No, please, no, no, no, not again, please, I haven't told anyone, no, please – "Alain cried. Karras used his grip on his head to smash his face into the table.

"You will let him go, Karras", Cullen bellowed. "This kind of behaviour is unacceptable."

Karras, however, only laughed. "Haven't you understood it, yet? You have no power here, Cullen. Your title is just that: a title. No templar worth their rank would listen to a mage-lover, isn't that right, boys?"

The others templar murmured concurringly.

"All those soft touches and sweet kisses...I think we need to show you how to treat these things properly." He trailed his hand down Alain's back. "Not that little Alain here isn't a good lay but he needs a firm hand." Karras slapped his hand down on Alain's arse. "And a little punishment for that escape attempt. And here I thought you had learned your lesson after last time."

Cullen was going to be sick. So much of Alain's behaviour suddenly made sense. If he had known this earlier he would have killed Karras with his own hands and blamed it on bandits. But looking around the room it wasn't just Karras, it was all of them.

"Listen to me, Karras, if you touch him I will not hand you to the Seekers, I will hunt you down and what I will do with you will be worse than anything even blood magic or a demon is capable off."

"Empty threats", Karras said dismissively. "Now, shall we begin?" He unfastened the lower part of his uniform and turned towards Alain who lay on the table like a rabbit trying to pretend it was dead to fool the fox.

"STOP! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!" Cullen yelled at the top of his lungs. Maybe someone would hear and investigate. He couldn't think of anything else. The ropes were too thick, the knots too tight and the grip his fellow templars had on him too unrelenting.

Karras didn't even blink. "Tell me, Knight-Captain, did you fuck him? Or are you so weak that you let him fuck you?"

"I will bring you before the Seekers! You will be expelled and executed! Do not think you will emerge from this unscathed!" He looked from one templar to the other. Cullen had thought they were being too harsh on the mages but he had never imagined this.

"I guess that answers my question", Karras said as he plunged three fingers into Alain who cried out in pain. Cullen's arms strained so much against the ropes that they started to cut into his skin. "You'll be so tight...just like the first time."

"Please", Cullen said quietly. "I'll do anything. Just let him go. Please."

"And that is why the others see you as weak, Cullen", Karras sneered. Then he grabbed Alain's hips and forced himself inside him. Alain didn't scream. Instead he let out a pained whimper against the tabletop that cut into Cullen's heart as Karras set a brutal pace. He nodded towards another templar, Everett Cullen remembered, who also unlaced his uniform and stood in front of Alain. Like Karras he grabbed Alain by his hair and forced his head up. Cullen could see blood running over his face.

"You know what happens if you bite me", Everett said and pushed his cock against Alain's mouth who opened his lips immediately. It was clear he had done this before, had been forced to do this before and Cullen lost his stomach on the floor beneath.

It didn't stop there. Every templar present took a turn on Alain, some even twice. Alain's whimpers soon stopped and he simply lay there and let them do as they wanted. When Cullen caught his eyes for a moment, they were dull and unfocused.

Cullen tried to beg and bargain, tried to threaten and appeal to their mercy but it had no use. He closed his eyes and recited the Chant of Light under his breath, praying to wake up from this nightmare. It would be a mercy to come to his senses and see that everything had been a nightmare, brought on by a demon like it had been in Ferelden.

"Do you think he will still want you after this?" Karras asked after he had forced himself upon Alain for the fourth time. "Now that he's had a reminder of what a real man feels like?"

"I WILL KILL YOU!" Cullen screamed. "I will slice you open and butcher you like the pig you are."

Karras shrugged. "That will change nothing."

"Don't make him tranquil, though", Everett said. "He already feels like fucking a dead fish."

"You'd know", another templar replied and playfully elbowed Everett in the side.

"Ser Karras." Suddenly they all stood still as Commander Meredith appeared in the door. "Keep the noise down a little, it's very late."

"As you wish, Commander", Karras replied. "We were finished anyway."

"Good." She looked at Cullen who couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Clean up this mess, would you, Captain?" Her cold blue eyes swept through the room as she was only seeing some dust mice and empty cups. She left without a further word and one by one the templars followed her until only Alain and Cullen were left. Someone must have cut the rope around his wrist because he could move his hands freely.

"Alain", he reached out to touch him but thought better of it just before he did. "Alain", Cullen repeated softly, crouching down next to him. But Alain didn't move, didn't speak, didn't react, only stared into the nothing with those dull, glassy eyes.

He tore one of the old drapes off and put it around Alain's still form. "We need to get out of here." He didn't move on his own but he followed where Cullen was leading him like a ragdoll. They made it out of the cellars undisturbed and even in the hallways to Cullen's quarter were empty.

As Knight-Captain he had his own washroom and led Alain there, figuring he would like to clean up after...this. Fury and hatred still burned in his veins but he needed to think about Alain first before he did something rash and slaughtered Karras and the others as if he was possessed by a rage demon.

"Alain", he said softly, trying to get his attention. But Alain's eyes were still unseeing as if he was very, very far away. "Alain, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I should've...I..." Cullen pressed a hand to his mouth to keep himself from crying. He had failed, both as a lover and as a templar. Alain was his to protect in both ways and Cullen hadn't been able to save him.

Carefully he took the drape from Alain's shoulders and started to wash him, always watching for a sign that Alain came out of his catatonic state. But Alain stood there like a statue and let Cullen do like he wanted. It felt like he was violating Alain's privacy by touching him without permission but Cullen hoped being clean would help Alain and he had no idea what else to do. Still, seeing Alain naked like this was intimate in a way they hadn't reached yet. They had never done more than kissing and a few roaming touches over each other's bodies. Cullen had actually been glad that Alain hadn't asked for more sooner because he had never had slept with anyone before.

After he was finished he found clean clothes for Alain to wear and dressed him. Alain followed every command like a golem.

"Sleep", Cullen said after he had tucked Alain under the covers of his bed. "I'm here when you need me." He sat down on the sofa which stood in a corner of the room so he could see both the bed and the door. There was no sleep for him tonight, he knew that.

Karras and Meredith had shown their true faces tonight. Now that Cullen knew how far they would go he could formulate a plan. And he knew exactly who to ask for help. He couldn't go against them on his own, not while Alain wasn't save from them, but Hawke could. She had publicly taken Orsino's side against Meredith and she was friends with Anders, who Cullen only remembered too well from his time in Ferelden.

Briefly he wondered if something like this had happened in Ferelden as well. But instinctively he knew that Greagoir would have drowned any templar who would have done something like this in the lake personally and publicly.

Suddenly Alain stirred, his head thrashing on the pillow as he moaned as if in pain. Cullen rushed to his side but didn't dare to touch him, not without Alain's permission. Instead he called his name again and again, a little louder each time until Alain opened his eyes.

"Cullen?" Hearing his name and the clear look in Alain's eyes was more than Cullen had dared to hope for so soon.

"Hey", Cullen said affectionately and slowly reached for Alain's hand. He only took it when Alain showed no sign of resistance or flinching.

"It wasn't a nightmare, was it?"

"No." Hate flared up inside him like a fireball. Soon he would rip Karras from limb to limb with his bare hands.

Alain turned his head away. "I wish you hadn't seen that." The way he said it stepped on Cullen's heart.

"I wish you had told me."

"And what would that have changed? Would you even care if it was not me?"

"Of course I would. What they did was wrong. It goes against everything the order stands for."

"You're so naive." Alain sat up. "How long have you been in Kirkwall, six years? It has been going on for longer than that from what the others told me. Thrask knew. Keran knew. Why didn't you?"

"I knew something was foul. That was why I was writing to the Seekers." He slipped his fingers from Alain's hand before he asked, "Do you even like me or did you think..."

"Does that matter?"

"Yes."

"What will you do if I say no?"

"Nothing. You have every reason not to like me."

Alain was silent for a long time. "I expected it. When you first showed interest I thought you were like Karras. But you never forced me, never asked me for anything but to spend time with you. It puzzled me to no end but I liked it. Made me feel safe."

"I was glad you never asked me for more. I never..." He trailed off, feeling himself blush.

"Maker's breath, never? Also what do you mean with 'I was glad you never asked me for more'? Did you think I was going to push you into a physical relationship? Where did they find you, the Tevinter Chantry?"

"The Ferelden Circle was a little more open than Kirkwall." Cullen was relieved when he saw the corners of Alain's mouth lift a little. It was interrupted by a yawn. "I should go back to my cell."

"Don't. Stay. Just for tonight." He didn't add that it was mostly for his own peace of mind.

Alain hesitated.

"I'll stay on the couch", Cullen said. "Just...please stay."

"As you wish." He reached for Cullen's wrist and wrapped his hand around it. "Don't do anything stupid?"

"Like leaving Karras and his cronies naked and bound at the mercy of a handful bloodmage apostates?"

"Exactly like that. It wouldn't help me or you. Meredith is apparently not happy with your letters to the Seekers and I...well, I'm not Tranquil yet."

Cullen carefully pushed a strand of hair from Alain's face. "If...when they hurt you again, I can make no promises."

"Just be circumspect about it", Alain said and lay back down. Cullen rose from the bed but he stood there for a little while, watching Alain sleep. He wished he could have done something else but his sheer helplessness made this all so much worse than the demon torturing him had been. At least that hadn't been real. This was and there was nothing he could do about it.

He retreated to the couch, wondering how much the Antivan Crows charged for murdering a couple templars these days and if he could afford in on a knight-captain salary. Probably not but then favours got things done just as much as money did. Or maybe he should just straight up go and ask Anders to do it, Cullen thought as he closed his eyes and braced himself against the nightmares.

/

"Knight Captain, what happened? We saw the explosion and – "

Cullen interrupted the templar's questions with raised hand. He didn't have much time. "I need every man in the courtyard immediately. The chantry has been destroyed."

The templar paled considerably but she did as she was told. Cullen wondered who'd make it to the Gallows first: Orsino or Meredith? He sent a prayer to the Maker that it would be Orsino.

Within in minutes of sounding the alarm every templar was standing in front of him. Most of Karras' cronies had accompanied Meredith to the chantry but Cullen could make out Everett's face in the crowd and the urge to run him through with his sword spiked through him.

Maybe later, Cullen thought and went to address the garrison.

"The chantry has been destroyed. Every one of you save a few and myself are needed there to look for survivors and clear the wreckage. You will meet Commander Meredith there and follow her command. Those of you who have been knights for less than a year will remain here to keep an eye on the mages. Ser Everett will lead you. Now set out."

They were all too shocked to question his orders. Cullen ordered those four who remained to close the gates and not let anyone in without his explicit approval. Then he announced he would make a tour of the cells to ensure that all mages were secured.

He was not surprised to meet Orsino and Hawke with her friends inside the Gallows.

"Knight-Captain."

"First Enchanter." Cullen gave him a keyring. "You will need these to get your people out. I assume you know about the tunnel leading to the wounded coast?" When Orsino nodded, he continued. "I don't know how much time you have until Meredith arrives. Just do me a favour and lead the children out first. If worst comes to worst...at least the innocent should live."

"That sounds like you do suspect us all to be blood mages."

"Not all of you. Some of you? Definitely. Don't take me for a fool Orsino, I've been here long enough. But I've seen how my fellow templars treat you and if our positions were reversed...I cannot honestly say I would not use blood magic to avoid that." Alain hadn't, his head reminded him. But a part of him wished he had, wished he had wrung those men dry of their blood like water from sponges.

"I'm not going to question your change of mind although you might want to wash that blood off your hands if you don't want anyone to panic."

Cullen looked down. The blood on his hands had turned brown and flaky by now but it was still unmistakably blood. Karras' blood and Cullen only regretted that it had been a quick death for him, a slit throat when it should have been weeks of torture. "Thank you for your advice."

/

"Cullen? What are you doing?" Alain asked when Cullen opened his door. Behind him mages from the cells he had already unlocked were silently walking down the corridor towards the tunnel.

"Pack some clothes, water, food, whatever you have. We need to move quickly."

Alain did as he was told while Cullen moved up the hallway to unlock the last cells. He had asked a few Tranquil to stand watch at the windows so that they would know when Meredith arrived.

"The chantry was destroyed by Anders. Meredith has invoked the right of annulment. You can say we have a difference of opinion about that", Cullen explained as Alain joined him.

"But why are you helping us?" It hurt more than it should have. After all Cullen had given Alain little reason to trust him.

"Because of you", he said, turning to Alain. "Because you made me see how badly the system works, how wrong it is. Because I cannot stand by and let be you slaughtered. And because I love you. I swear by Andraste and the Maker, by the Dalish deities and the Old Gods of Tevinter that I will get you out of here."

Alain stared at him, his mouth gaping open. A few other mages pushed him aside to get past him and one pushed him right into Cullen. "You're mad", he said in an almost wondrous voice. "Completely mad."

"Quite possibly", Cullen grinned a little awkwardly. He had never said those words to someone before. In the stories it was always romantic whereas this decidedly wasn't.

Alain pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "You're throwing your life away for me."

"You and every other mage in this circle", despite everything Cullen couldn't stop smiling. He took that the kiss meant Alain wasn't put off by his horrible declaration.

"I have to admit", Hawke said from the stairs below, "I didn't see that coming. Although I knew about the crush you had on a mage back in Ferelden."

"That was a long time ago", he brushed her off. "Are the cells all cleared?"

"That's so sweet", the little dalish elf next to Hawke said. "You should make that a story, Varric."

The dwarf sighed. "Let us get out of here before we do anything else."

"Do we have a plan for after the escape?" The Rivaini woman, Isabella, asked.

"Step aside", Orsino said as soon as they reached the tunnel. Cullen automatically put his body between Alain and the tunnel entrance that Orsino collapsed as if he was a child destroying a sand castle. A shiver ran down Cullen's spine as he saw so much power being used so easily.

"Let's move", the other elf in Hawke's little group said. "If the Knight-Captain knows about this tunnel so does Meredith.

"Again, what happens when we reach the wounded coast?" Isabella asked again.

"We split up", Hawke replied. "Smaller groups travel faster. And then we'll hope for the best."

Cullen remained behind for a moment to look at the ruins of the tunnel. For the second time in eight years it felt as if his life had been thrown off its axis only that this time it had been his decision. He wondered what his old friends would say if they could see him now. What she would say. If she would be proud of him.

"Cullen?" He heard Alain ask, a few steps behind him.

Yes, he decided as he turned around with a smile on his lips, she at least would be proud. "So, where do you want to go?" He asked.

"I thought maybe Rivain? My family's originally from there and it's sunny there."

"Then we'll go to Rivain", Cullen said, taking Alain's hand in his. After Kirkwall any place could only be better. And although he knew he was probably too optimistic, the knowledge that it was too later to turn around, eased his mind. For once he was absolutely sure he had done the right thing and felt good even if the road in front of him would be long and stony.

His hand tightened around Alain's. This time he wasn't walking the road alone.


End file.
